Friday, February 24, 2012

FF : I Feel Nothing Part 11



Arnav's words reached Khushi's heart...


Her Amma said that God would sent someone to hold her when she was afraid...


ARNAVJI.  


HIS arms had come around her in her fearful state. 


HE was the reason for her apprehension to go...


She looked into his eyes and dissolved into tears, "You! You're the reason i couldn't leave. I tried. I wasn't going to take anything. I was just going to go...but i couldn't ..." she took a shaky breath and continued..."I am very scared...i can't stop all the pain inside me...i try to forget it ...but memories come back to haunt me..."


Arnav's heart was breaking again for her...all he could do was whisper..."i'm so so so sorry..."

Khushi's tears were now blurring her sight and she grabbed his shirt collar and frantically said... "do you know what i hate the most...? ...i hate that despite everything, I  CAN'T rip myself away from you...why can't I!!! I want to, but I can't!! Every step i take away from you stifles me! I can't breathe...how could my soul be wound so tightly to yours!?" her knees started to get weak, no longer being able to control her voice, she just grasped his shirt and cried bitterly....

Arnav let her cry...

He let her tidal wave of tears drench his shirt and fall on his heart...


"I love you Khushi...I won't ever stop repenting for what has happened...I won't ever stop loving you...I will show you the love you deserve.....I just don't want to lose you .. I am here to make sure, that every time you start to feel pain, every time you start to feel fear...I will be ready to move heaven and earth to protect you...Give me that chance to make you feel loved. To show you who I really am—the man who can’t live without you. The man who deserves your heart.”

Though the pain was great, her magnetic pull to him was greater. 

And even though the pain he gave her had broken her heart, the love he was now showering on her was piecing her heart back together...


She simply nodded and Arnav let out a guttural sigh, one that showed how wounded he was for her...

Yelling voices broke their moment and Arnav realized that everyone was still looking for her...

Khushi's brow furrowed, wondering what was happening...


"everyone is looking for you..." said Arnav, his voice still shaking...


Khushi looked up at him..."Oh...oh no..."


Arnav moved closer..."What...what's wrong...?"


"They're going  to  yell at me ..." Khushi said knowingly...


"The Hell they are!..." and Arnav held her hand tight and led her back into their room and out the door...


By the time they were halfway down the stairs, Anjali and Payal had seen them and come running...


"Khushiji! Chote has found her!" yelled Anjali... 


Payal spoke first, approaching Khushi..."HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!" 


Arnav instantly stepped forwards, putting himself between Khushi and the accusations...


Payal, understanding what he was doing calmed herself..."I'm sorry Khushi... I have been burdened with worry..." 


She gave a questioning look at Arnavi and he nodded...


Payal rushed past him and pulled her sister into her arms..."please don't do that again...please know that we love you...I love you..." 


Payal smiled, making Khushi smile sadly ...


"Khushiji?" Anjali's famous tears were gracing her face..."I am truly sorry for not accepting you...I was very wrong...you should have spoken up to me but you remained so respectful...and i can only hope that i become more like you..." 


Anjali hugged Khushi too....


Arnav felt his heart twist...


Why did I hurt her so much...why did EVERYONE hurt her so much...she is perfect...she is pure... and I had to go and destroy her slowly...


And his thoughts came to a crashing halt...Shyam. 


HE was to blame. 


HE had caused this. 


Arnav slowly raised his eyes to Shyam's room and saw the door slightly open...


"WHAT!?" He yelled, startling everyone..."Where is jijaji? Why is his door open!?" 


Anjali quickly spoke..."you told us to check on him and he was worried too for Khushiji and offered to help...so..." 


She stopped speaking noticing her brothers face filling with rage..."Where. Is. He. Now.?" 


Arnav's low voice frightened them all. 


Akash seeing his Bhai fuming with anger asked them all to take Khushi to another room and have some tea...leaving Akash and Arnav together. 


"Where is he?" Arnav asked desperately...


"I'm right here Saale Saab..."

Arnav spun around and almost lunged at him but was held back by Akash...

"Bhai...don't...calm yourself..."


Yanking himself free from Akash's grip, Arnav stood tall, and walked confidently up to Shyam.


Brutally grabbing his arm, he dragged him upstairs, throwing him into his room..."You STAY in here, or i swear, next time i see you, i won't be responsible for what i do to you!" 


Arnav's voice was hardly recognizable... 


Akash placed his hand on Arnav's shoulder trying to calm him...


"don't be so dramatic saale saab...just remember this...your so-called wife...is mine. Her heart is mine and the rest of her..." he started to grossly lick his lips .."is definitely mine too..." 


Arnav was gone. 


Replaced by a carnal beast ready to rip apart it's prey...


He broke free from Akash and tore into Shyam...


They both were past the point of listening...


Shyam hit Arnav's jaw, and laughed...


Arnav, who was feeling NO pain, fiercely and instinctively fought  Shyam, able to counteract his every move...


Arnav stood up and yanked Shyam up by pulling his hair...


Shyam who was now bloodied and bruised just smiled and said, "it will happen soon..."


"Never." Arnav growled, and punched Shyam in the gut , winding him temporarily, as he and Akash walked out the door locking it.

Arnav stormed to his room as Akash followed saying ..."he can't do anything. He can't do anything to Khushi. It's all just idle threats..." but Arnav was pacing around, fists clenched...

"Bhai, really, he CAN'T do anything..." 


Arnav turned to Akash..."He bloody well won't get a chance...because from tonight...i won't be leaving Khushi's side..." and with that, Arnav stormed out of the room


.............................



Shyam sat in his room, his evil glare covering his face..."...she will be mine...whether I have to get rid of Arnav...or drive Khushi insane...I will get what i want...."


..............................



Akash followed Arnav downstairs...

Arnav, burning with fear and fury, could only think of one thing...


Protect Khushi...


He felt his heart racing and stopped briskly as he saw her...


She was looking around searching for something...


He wished for a moment that she was looking for him... 


As the family stood up, Arnav walked in and went to stand by Khushi, holding her hand firmly in his...


She kept her gaze down, not sure of what to do or say...


The family all began to say goodnight and parted to go to their rooms, leaving Khushi and Arnav standing in the hallway, hands still entangled...

The silence was starting to unnerve her...

She looked up at Arnav preparing to say something when she noticed a bruise forming on his jaw...


Gasping, her hand flew to her lips...


"Are you okay Khushi?"...Arnav asked her worriedly....


"I...I was about to ask you that...what did he do?" 


Khushi knew that there was only one person who would be stupid enough to hit Arnav Singh Raizada.

"It's nothing Khushi, lets just  go up....and go to sleep..." Arnav tried to avoid telling her anything...

She wanted to press the matter, but Arnav ushered her up the stairs; she stayed quiet...




...................


With dim candlelight filling the room, Khushi lay very still next to Arnav...

She was afraid... expecting Arnav to make a move...


He rolled to face her, and she felt her heart skip a beat...


Her eyes shut tight when she saw him get closer, the heat from his chest now radiating into hers...


"Arnavji...I...I don't..."


But he silenced her, kissing her mouth lightly and slowly... 


Her lips were soft, but barely moving beneath his...


When he withdrew, he watched her eyes open...


"I love you Khushi...more than anything or anyone..." 


She blinked, not knowing how to respond...


But before she could, Arnav moved back, returned to his side, took a deep breath,and shut his eyes...


Arnav could sense that she was scared of getting possessively swept up in passion again, and wanted to show her his love a different way.


Although Khushi had given herself to him before, he didn't want to take that gift for granted.


And so, with all the self control he could muster, he pulled his lips away from his life's source, rolled away, and shut his eyes before she could see the heat emanating from them. 


This one act from her husband brought tears to her eyes...


She had felt his passion and love for her, but now, she was feeling his respect and love for her...


........



In a room, just metres away, Shyam had called Anjali to his door...

He spoke through it saying that he needed to go away to work, but that Arnav was so mad at the way he "over-reacted" toward Khushi, that he wasn't letting him out...


"but it's late at night," Anjali started to say, "and you aren't well..." 


"rani saba, i have an important meeting out of town tomorrow that i had forgotten about during all the commotion happening here...you know that i'm only working to support our new expanding family..." 


Shyam tried to sound sweet and endearing...


Anjali held her small baby bump and smiled sadly...


Something didn't feel right about this to her, but  she let her uneasiness slide to the back of her mind and unlocked the door...


Shyam gently held her shoulder saying that he'd hurry home back to her side...


And he walked out, leaving Anjali  watching in dismay as he casually sauntered down the stairs and out the door...


She stood outside his empty room, guilt rushing through her..."why do i feel that i have just committed a grave error... Something feels wrong. Something feels terribly wrong.."


As she slowly made her way toward her room, her discomfort started expanding...

Shadows crept eerily across the pavement outside Shantivan as Shyam stood outside...


He crossed his arms, grimacing as his broken fingers shifted against his chest...


"I won't be away long...let the games begin..."


.......



Khushi's eyes opened, only to see that it was still nighttime.

The candlelight was growing dim...


Her husbands breath lightly fanning the back of her neck...

During his sleep, he had draped an arm over her body...

Her eyes glanced toward the window to see the stars...

"Amma?..." she whispered..."I will try to not let fear rule my heart...but how do i stop the pain? It was easier to live when I felt nothing...but now...I'm scared to feel love...I'm scared to feel anything...every thought feels like a gunshot to my soul...I...I wish I could accept how everyone is treating me, but...I can't...what if it doesn't last again...what if I open my heart to all this love only to have it beaten down again...I wouldn't be able to survive it next time...I've barely survived it this time..." 


She softly wept...but she didn't cry alone...


Arnav had heard everything she said...


He didn't say a word, and just let his arm quietly hold her...


He felt his heart stinging..."I will help you to trust in love again...you gave yourself to me, you let me hold your body and let my love for you override your senses...now I will love and protect your heart till it overflows with love...that is my vow to you Khushi..."

Eventually, Khushi's breathing evened out and Arnav knew she had fallen asleep...

Her body began to move, and she lifted her leg over his and rested her calf between his legs, her thigh covering his pelvis...


His jumbled senses were now alive and kicking...


"Fuck..." his thoughts were in overdrive..."I can't believe that I once pushed her kicky tie-kwan-do body off me...I'm such a bloody fool..." he sighed..."Look at her...all soft and...divine...and..." 


He wanted her.


He had wasted so much time and now he was living with punishment...


His mind flashed back to the two previous times he had made love to her...she had given herself and her innocence to him...to HIM. 


The one who had caused all her affliction...the one who had infected the love she had...HAD for him...all this time she had loved him...and all he had shown her was how easily he could lacerate her heart...


He remembered the feel of her body and his face heated up as his desire for her increased...


Arnav knew that she had been afraid when he made love to her...


In that moment, she needed to be held, needed a new sensation that would cloud her mind and obliterate all the fear in her mind...


Arnav remembered how her whole body responded to his touch...


Would she feel that way if it weren't dark and frightening outside? 


Would she allow his approach if her mind wasn't whizzing with despair and need for some kind of release...? 


He wouldn't give up until she trusted him with her heart...


Possessiveness swelled in him and he tightened his hold around Khushi's waist and he felt  intense wonder as she sleepily responded with a gentle sigh...

.......



The next morning, when Khushi opened her eyes, she saw her head on Arnav's chest, her arm sprawled across his him, and her leg lazily thrown over his hips...


Absolutely terrified at her position, she quickly rolled to the opposite side of the bed...


Seeing the time, she opened her mouth in shock and quickly started running to get some clothes to and take a shower...


Arnav heard her sit up with a start and looked over only to see her dashing across the room...


Worried that she was going to run away again, he got up in an instant and grabbed her bristly...


Looking intensely into her eyes...he said, "Where do you think you're going? " 


She stared at him in a panic..."I...I was just..." she started saying but was cut off by Arnav's lips crushing onto hers...


He let his arms drop to his sides as his mouth drank from hers...


He took joy in the fact that she hadn't moved away from him...


She just stood there allowing him to kiss her...


He knew she was still overly cautious, but he also knew that his love was implanting back into her heart...


When he let the kiss break he was ready to beg, "don't go..."


"I...I have to..." she said back, eyes still closed...

"Why...?" he looked at her beautiful face, her closed eyes,  her moist parted mouth...

"because...because I'm hungry..." she opened her eyes to look into his, with a guilty, apologetic frown on her face...

"What the?!? What do you mean? What...?!" 


Arnav was acutely confused until he noticed that she was holding her clothes and a towel ready to go and shower...


Arnav looked up at her and his face went bright red...


"Ohhh...I thought...I..."


Khushi's expression softened and she now looked like she was trying to suppress a smile... 


Arnav seeing a felt a jolt of elation ripple through him..."oh...so you think this is funny??? " he started saying with a wicked, sexy grin on his face..."Do you think this is funny... Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada...???" 


He started walking toward her and she stepped back...


Finally she turned and ran into the bathroom slamming the door behind her leaving her husband outside smiling...


Arnav couldn't believe what just happened...


He just smirked and walked off to get dressed...

........


Shyam had sent a letter to Khushi that was about to be delivered at any second...

When he had left RM the previous night he started plotting on how to take Khushi...

"She will eventually become so afraid, that next time, when she wants to run away, she'll actually go through with it...and I will be ready to take her...no matter what her mental state..." 


Shyam laughed..."Sorry Khushiji...but it seems  that this is the only way I can take you now..."

..................


Arnav heard his phone ring and quickly put his headset on and walked out to stand by the pool...

Khushi opened the bathroom door, and re-entered her room, feeling light and fresh in her pale green dress...

She saw Arnav at the poolside facing away from her and was slightly relieved that he wasn't there to continue their game from before...


Ready to go downstairs and prepare food, she quietly opened the bedroom door, and came face to face with Om Prakash who handed her a letter...


Khushi gave a small nod of thanks and stepped back into the room to sit on the bed as she opened the letter...  


"Khushi. Your body is mine. You are mine. Do not forget this. I will be back to take you away from here... forever."

Her breathing stopped as she turned white with fear...

She stood and turned swiftly to see Arnav still talking on his headset...


With shaking limbs, she started walking towards him...


Every step closer brought air back into her lungs... 


Moving faster, she finally reached him and threw her arms around his waist, clinging to him from behind...

Arnav's voice stopped the second she touched him...


"Khushi?"


Quickly taking off his headset  and tossing it away not caring where it landed, he looked down at her hands, she was holding a crumpled piece of paper... 


Her knuckles were turning white from the ferocity of her grip on it...


"Khushi?! Khushi are you okay?" Alarm filled his voice as he tried to loosen her fingers...


Even as she held on tight, her body trembled with fear...


Arnav's muscles tensed as he tried to pry her grip apart, "Khushi..."


He finally had to use force to make her hands part and he grabbed the paper, swung his body around and she immediately replaced her arms around him holding on securely...


He held her firmly, "What has happened...?" he could feel her fear as if it were his own..."Khushi, talk to me..."


Quickly, he lifted the letter to his eyes...

His grip on Khushi became stiffer and more constricted with each word he read...

"Khushi? When did you get this?" he brought her face up to meet his...

She clutched him tighter and caressed her face..."It's alright...I'm with you...tell me what happened..."


"I...I didn't see him...I was just...I came out...after showering...and...and I was going downstairs and Om Prakashji gave...gave me...this and I saw the...and I read that..." 


Khushi was clearly terrified.

"HOW DARE HE!?!?!" Arnav thought, his mind screaming profanities at Shyam...


But his focus was fixed on Khushi as she began to sob...


His hold on her gentled, but he pulled her closer..."SHhhh...shhhh...."

She felt her chest tightening, panic consuming her...


"Arnavji...I ...I can hardly breathe...I'm..I'm so..." 


Walking her body backwards, he pressed her against the wall..."shhh sweetheart..." 


Arnav moved his lips close to hers till they were almost touching...


"...can you feel me close to you?"

Khushi nodded...

"...can you feel my breath against your mouth?"

Khushi nodded again...

"...breathe in..." he commanded.

Khushi took a shaky breath in...


"...breathe out..."

She let her breath out...


"...breathe in..."

Khushi breathed in, now completely aware of how close his lips were to hers...

"...breathe out..."

She breathed out...her heartbeat steadying...

"I love you Khushi..." Arnav said, moving his lips closer to hers so they touched as he spoke...

Khushi just let out a moan and Arnav slowly leaned into her...


Feeling her become calmer, he revelled in the knowledge that he had been able soothe her...


But his eyes flashed with anger...anger so strong it actually scared him...


There were no more second chances for that bastard. 


Shyam was going to pay.  


Arnav was going to make a call, and as soon at the police arrive he'd take them to Shyam's room, show them the threatening letter, and make sure the treacherous  devil would live out the rest of his life in an ice cold cell...

..........


He stood holding his wife for eternal minutes, until she peered up at him saying, "Thh..Thankyou..."

Arnav  smiled at her and said..."I remember you saying you were hungry???"


Khushi nodded and said, "I'll just go and prepare some food." 

He wanted nothing more than to pull her close for a kiss, but he instead took her hand... "let's go"...


As they were walking downstairs Anjali and Nani walked up to them...


Nani, who had been talking to Anjali about her concern towards Shyam, quickly and happily asked Khushi to come with her, as Anjali held her brothers arm and said, "Chote? I need to talk to you..."

...........

Arnav's fury hit boiling point as his sister reiterated  her conversation with Shyam...

"...You...you just let him fucking leave!!! Let him WALK out of the house!!!!" ...

Anjali looked visibly rattled by her brother's curt behavior with her...

"Chote, please tell me what's going on. I know something isn't right here..."


Torn between his promise to Khushi to keep quiet, he desperately tried to think of a way to end this situation right now...


His head was pounding..."I promised Khushi...I promised her...I told her to trust me..." he cringed..."FUCK! But how can I just let this bastard get away with...No...I need to keep my promise to Khushi..."


He held his sister's hand firmly, "Something ISN'T right. I don't want anything to happen to khushi, or to you, or to your baby...you've always trusted me, so please trust me now...try to steer clear of Shyam for now...for my sake...don't ask anymore questions...just please listen...will you do that for me?" 


Anjali was clearly very worried, but she just nodded in agreement..."I will try to do what you say...I have been feeling tense for a while now...so I will do as you say..." 


Arnav thanked her and hugged her...



After talking to Anjali, he immediately called the police, told them that his wife was receiving threats and to come and post security at his house...

They complied and said they would send guards immediately. 


He then called Shyam's office to see if there really WAS a meeting...there wasn't. 


He called his office and told them that for the next few months, he would work from home. 


Once all calls were finished, he dropped his phone to the coffee table..."There. Everything is set. And now, to see my wife..." Arnav said decisively.

......................

The family were confused by the police arriving to guard the house. 

But Arnav was adamant that it was for the best and that it was for their safety. 


When Arnav had his Arnav Singh Raizada voice on, the family knew better than to question him...


His anger had already been keeping them on edge.


However Akash and Payal knew...


They had heard from Anjali and Nani that Shyam had left the house.


........





Khushi went about her chores...

She held back a smile every time she moved to another room, because Arnav would bring his laptop and follow her wherever she went...


This went on throughout the day...


It was now getting dark and a few stars started twinkling across the sky ...


Khushi was now in the privacy of their room.


She was feeling sweaty, and nervously went in to shower hoping that he wouldn't dare follow her in...


Khushi waited a few minutes, and when he didn't enter, she undressed...


Keeping the water warm, she closed her eyes and let the steam clear her mind...


When she finished she peeked out the door and quickly scanned the room...

He wasn't anywhere to be seen...


She muttered how relieved she was as she started to sneak out wearing only a towel...


Her eyes continued to search as she blindly reached out to the closet, trying to pull the door open...


Khushi suddenly gasped when her hand connected with a hard, warm surface...


Arnav's chest.


"Arnavji!!!..." Khushi yelped..."What are you doing!?"


He smirked and paced towards her...


A sudden heat pooled between her legs in the midst of her annoyance...


"Listen Mr. Arnav Singh Raizada!  There are guards here... and I'm not leaving the house...the family are also here...so there isn't any need to follow me around...and...and you have work..."

His voice low as he spoke..."I know there are guards here...I know you're not leaving the house...the family have actually gone out...nani, mami, di and payal have all gone to the mandir...Akash is still at the office, working in my place...and I have told you, that I like following you around?...I have never felt more protective of anyone in my life, or more in love with anyone... "  his eyes were intense, making her squirm, fevering her temper...

Khushi wasn't sure what made her angrier... 

Was it that he was TRYING to irritate her or was it her sudden ache for his touch...


She tried to keep her voice in control as she spoke..."I am not a baby, and I'm not going to run away, I told you of my insane inability to leave you...I have responsibilities here. So don't try to act like you are my boss!" 

Arnav was still pacing towards her, he wasn't angry, he was LOVING her fight, loving her spunk, loving...loving Khushi...

Deep desire for her starting to stir inside him...


Wanting to probe her further, he said, "but I AM your husband...and this is OUR house ...so I'm allowed to go wherever I want...and if I happen to want to be in the same room as you, then you, my wife, will have to deal with it..." 


Khushi now was getting mad...

"What does he think of himself!?" She thought, "he wants me to try to love him again when he is troubling me like this!?" 


Suddenly she realized that she was walking backwards as he was purposefully walking towards her...


She quickly manoeuvred from where she was about to be trapped, and now stood at the door to the poolside, closing her eyes she tried to catch her breath...


Arnav wasn't giving up though...


Seeing her dripping wet hair and her sensuous body only draped in a towel...


Spinning her around to face him he pushed her up against the wall...


The wall that she was up against on the night of diwali...


The one where he almost kissed her for the first time...

As soon as Khushi felt his hands on her , she lost all sense of reality and let out a sensual moan.

All the feelings she felt from that night of diwali were now filling her head...


She saw his eyes...


How desperately he wanted her...


She felt spellbound by his burning touch..


She wasn't afraid yet she was trembling...


She tried to squirm out of his grip but already knew how futile that would be... 


Her husbands lethal desire for her was overwhelming her senses...


Liquid desire sluiced through her body and pooled in dark, aching places...


Khushi tried to fight all his advances, tried to fight her body's response to him...


But it was too late to move as his ravenous mouth opened over hers...


3 comments:

  1. anjali is really stupid love how arnav is making her feel his love and respect khusi is slowly understanding arnav love awesome update (DUMAS)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anjali is a dim wit.. i love the way Arhi is getting together slowly but surely.. oh this creep is going to try something.. i fear it

    ReplyDelete