Sunday, February 19, 2012

FF : I Feel Nothing Part 4


The bathroom door flew open.


Arnav couldn't believe what he saw.

Khushi.

Mad.

Madder than hell!

Furious. 

She bolted towards him and slammed her palms on his chest screaming, "HOW DARE YOU! What have you done to me!?! Why have you done this!? Why?! Why!? Why!?"

Khushi pounded her clenched fists at his shoulders...


She hit him and pushed him until she was exhausted and left clinging to his shirt...holding on tight...her breathing rapid and uneven...

Arnav stood tall.


He took everything. 


Let her hit him. 


Accepted every single blow.


Because his heart was filling with hope. 


He stood watching the love of his life...starting to FIGHT! 


Fight back! 


Show emotion!


He knew she wouldn't just suddenly fall in his arms and swoon. 


He knew she had to deal with all that had happened, and all that was happening now... 


And even while she was hitting him, he knew deserved more punishment than this. 


For dragging her through such torment, and for reducing her heart to sinders.


Now...as she clung to him, still trembling with fury...he looked to the sky...silently thanking God...because she was coming back. 


She was feeling again.

Khushi pushed him away, stumbling backwards..."...Y...you...you have done this to me... I was FINE!" she shreiked...shaking her head, trying to rid herself of all feeling..."I wasn't hurting anymore! I felt nothing! And now..." she staggered back...starting to get dizzy...

Arnav rushed forward holding her as she almost fell..."Khushi...take a deep breath..."

She couldn't focus..."no...no...i don't want to feel...no...no..."


As she kept repeating, 'no'... Arnav kept repeating..."Khushi...i love you...i love you...i love you..."

For every "NO"  Arnav said "I LOVE YOU"...

Khushi's muddled gaze locked on his eyes...

He wasn't smug.


His expression wasn't out for the win. 


He wasn't going to make her feel lesser for feeling again...


He looked at her with so much love, so much concern...

Finally regaining some composure, she hauled herself away from him and ran from the room...

Weakness ensued...

Arnav Fell to his knees on the floor  tears starting to pour...


Her heart was resurfacing! 


Her emotions were back!


And this time, he wouldn't let ANYTHING or ANYONE hurt her.

........



The next few days were incredible. 


Arnav saw Khushi evolving.  


He spent as much time with her as he could...


Hovering around, making sure that her happiness wasn't interrupted...


The family were involving her in more and more, and were even more thrilled to see Arnav at home...


Wanting nothing more than to see her smile, he tried his best to join in every conversation...


And even though she tried to hide it, he could see her lips sometimes curve into a small smile...


His heart was starting to soar. 


He was willing to do this forever.

Soon Akash came to the kitchen ..." Bhai, the meeting will be at 2pm. At the office, just reminding you."...and he started to leave...

Arnav spoke up..."...no. i'm not leaving. We'll have the meeting here. That's final." 


Akash just nodded and left.

"Chote? You're staying HOME?" Nani was honestly surprised...


Arnav glanced over at Khushi and nodded...


Anjali frowned..."Of all days, and I have to go for my antenatal appointment..."


Nani smiled, "We'll be back for dinner, I am going with her Chote..."


"Payal will be home in a few hours..." Anjali said smiling at Khushi...


Khushi merely nodded..."I can start dinner and have it ready for you all..."


Arnav cringed, hating that she felt she was only good to do chores and remain silent.


"Khushi bitiya, you don't have to do that..."


"I don't mind Nani, I will go and prepare things now..."


She awkwardly pushed out of her chair and scurried towards the kitchen...


Arnav watched her, and saw that she may need some time alone...


After weeks of being alone, she looked overwhelmed with so much contact.


"Is Khushiji alright Chote?"


Keeping his stare forwards, he answered his sister..."She will be..."




...........



2pm crept up too fast for Arnav's liking...

He had stayed close to the kitchen, listening to Khushi's nonsensical mumbling as she cooked...


Akash tapped him on the shoulder and informed him of the arrival of all the businessmen.


He felt uneasy for some reason, but slowly followed Akash...


At least Payal would be home soon...


And at least Shyam was out at his own office.


He cordially greeted the men at the table, and seated himself, hearing Akash start with the proceedings.


Arnav couldn't concentrate. 

He kept looking towards the kitchen hoping she'd walk out...hoping he'd hear her...

........



As Khushi chopped the vegetables, she started thinking out loud..."Arnavji is different. He...he seems to...care...and when i look at him i feel...i feel...i FEEL..."

"...you feel what..." intruded a slimy voice from behind...

Khushi spun around to see Shyam. 

Standing there leering at her.

"Khushiji, I have missed seeing you in the kitchen making jalebi..." he strode closer..."would you like some help?"

Dropping the cutlery to the bench, her hands shook as she tried to move away..."Why are you here? You went out. Why are you here? I don't want to be around you. Haven't you learned anything yet?..." Khushi spat out at him.

"Khushiji I told you that I wouldn't leave you... That i'd take you away from here..." he smirked walking forwards...

Khushi, suddenly afraid for herself, only wanted one thing...

Arnav! 


She needed him! 


NOW!

"Arnavji!!!!!"


Her mind screamed for him, but her voice had vanished...

Khushi opened her mouth to try and yell only to have a vile hand cover her lips to drown out any sound she could make....

"No..."She started to lose hope again, she started to stop feeling..."this is just how it's meant to be for me..." she thought, "my soul is just supposed to be alone...alone?..."

Dhak Dhak Dhak Dhak...

Khushi heard her heart beating and recalled Arnav's words...

"I can feel your HEART! Beating!"

"I'm NOT alone!" she realized and started squirming and thrashing, trying to resist Shyam's harsh embrace...


She threw her arms around trying to hit him and break free...


But Shyam swung her around and gave her a hard slap across her face...

The sound was shrill.

Stunned. 

Khushi heard herself get hit. 


She heard the sound. 


But didn't feel anything. 


Everything started to swirl...

Her eyes were fogging...

Vision went dark....and she closed her eyes...



.......................



Arnav was still looking toward the kitchen for some sign of his wife...

When he heard what sounded like a whip cracking, he felt his heartbeat become irregular...


His veins started to feel twisted and pained...


"Something is wrong..." he said aloud...


His business associates  turned to face him and immediately started to question him about what he meant...

"What do you mean sir?"

"Bhai?" Akash said quietly..."What is wrong?"

Arnav, ignoring all their questions, stood up and without hesitating, ran to where he left Khushi....

The second he stepped foot in the kitchen, his heart seized up in his chest...

What he saw sucked all breath from him...

Khushi...

Eyes closed. 

Limp body. 


Being held by the devil himself.

His eyes shot to Shyam. 

And he saw Arnav's expression...Rage. 


Murderous Rage. 


"Saale Saab...she...she fainted and i was only trying to..." 


Before he could even complete the sentence, Arnav stormed forwards, taking Khushi speedily away from Shyam's grip....

Marching away, he took long strides as he rushed her to their room...

Shyam was in hot pursuit...

Arnav could hear the footsteps behind him, and his urge to attack only tripled...

Gently laying her down on their bed, he swung around and hit shyam so hard that his wedding ring cut into Shyam's face leaving a long gash on his cheek...

Arnav picked him up and spoke in a deathly quite tone, "you better PRAY that she is okay, because if you have done ANYTHING to hurt her, then I will FINISH you..." and with that, he threw Shyam out of the room and locked the door.

Rushing to Khushi's side he bent down , felt her breath against his lips, and lifted her torso  gently... 

He was unsure of what happened, and right now, with the fear he felt, he needed to hold her and feel against him...


He cursed himself for letting this happen...


He was shaking with fear and anger ...

"Khushi..." he whispered..."Jaan wake up...don't be afraid...I'm here..." 

He then noticed her bruised cheek....redness starting to turn slightly purple.....


"What the!? Did he...did he hit you?"

Arnav felt despair. 

His tears now falling gently on her swollen cheek... "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."


She started to stir and squirm saying , "no...no...don't come any closer...please....don't..."


Arnav opened his eyes and realized that she didn't know she was safe yet...

Khushi, not opening her eyes for fear of what she might see, pushed and shoved Arnav's chest trying to get free when she felt the strong arms holding her pull her close, hold her tightly...

The breath that wafted against her lips was spicy and hot...

Her body began to tremble...

"Shhhh...Khushi it's me..."

A soft sob escaped her lips, and  then his mouth touched hers.....

Frightened and confused, she began to writhe...

Arnav, overcome with grief, guilt, love and pain, felt her trying to break free from his grasp...

He wanted nothing more than to keep her safe, to repent for all that he had done, to let her know that his love for her would never fade but only get stronger, but she was afraid of him...

Taking a risk, he held her close and kissed her harder...
Khushi froze...

A current of electricity pulsed through her...

Arnavji! 

He is here! 

He is holding me!  

His lips danced over hers...slowly kissing, slowly tasting...

Her heart felt encased with velvet, and...safety. 

She no longer felt alone. 

Alone!

Her mind suddenly flashed with what happened...and her fear resurfaced....her hands that were still on his chest from earlier when she tried to push him away, now grabbed his collar and pulled him closer to herself...

When Arnav felt her hands grab his shirt collar and cling to him his body exploded...

Her hands and arms shaking because her strength was failing...

Arnav, feeling his heart soar with protectiveness put his arms right around her and pulled her flush against him, so she need not hold on to him, because he was holding on to her...he pulled her close so fast that she gasped...

the kiss paused...

they  were so close...

Mouths touching ...

Open mouths...

Breath mingling...

Her fingers released his collar as she let out a gut wrenching moan that showed her relief and terror at the same time....

Arnav exploded with emotion. 

He couldn't take her brokenness. 

He pushed their open mouths together and kissed her with unbridled passion...holding her against his heart, so firmly as if to mould them both together...

Taking moments to breathe, yet keeping their mouths touching, Khushi was whimpering, not pulling away, but not making any move to continue...

Arnav was in charge. 

He had taken up the responsibility of protecting her heart and wasn't going to stop trying to put the pieces back together...

Khushi wasn't aware of anything other than Arnav. 

His mouth was firmly moving over her mouth... 

His lips biting and sucking hers...

His breath desperately trying to breathe in more of her...

His tongue licked her lips and moved into her mouth....tasting her...and the kiss went from a  curious dance of tangling tongues and sliding lips  and spiraled into hunger. 

Khushi tilted her head as her husband devoured her with wet sucking kisses making all thoughts vanish from her mind...

All Khushi felt was her heart beating ...no not beating...blasting! 

Pumping hot blood through her!  

Boiling  and purifying her!

Arnav's need for her was cranking higher....harder....electric currents were pulsing through his undying heart of love for her....


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