Saturday, March 3, 2012

SS : I Can't Let Her Go! Part 2




"I can't. I can't let her go!"

Arnav took fast strides to the kitchen...

"NO! Chote!"

"No we will not allow this!" Buaji yelled...

Finally feeling strength return, Arnav turned to them all and his voice boomed throughout the room..."This is MY home! You will all STAY here...Understand!?"

They froze.

Anjali looking at him in awe, and Buaji cowering back with fright...

Not bothering to give them a second more than they were worth, he turned and strode to the kitchen where he saw Payal making jalebi...

Khushi was sitting down telling her how to make it...

"No..." Arnav said as his heart clenched inside his chest..."she has so little strength that she can't even make..."

As thought feeling his presence, Khushi looked up...

Her eyes widened when she saw him.

A mixture of fear and excitement overcame her and she stood fast...

"Ohhh..." she breathed as her head rushed, stars flickering in her eyes...

"Khushi...no..." Arnav ran forward as she stumbled and fell against his chest...

Looking up at him, she willed herself to push away...

"Khushi? Are you okay?"

His eyes were glued to hers and she saw his palpable concern...

"I...I'm fine. I just need some air..." 

She weakly tried to move out of his grasp...

"Wait...please..." he whispered in a heartbroken plea...

Her eyes darted back to his as she paused..."I...I can't...I need...air...I need..."

"ok...shh it's okay..." he released her delicately and watch he slowly walk outside...

"Please excuse me jiji..." 

Payal saw Arnav start to follow..."Arnavji...please, please be gentle with her...she's not well at all..."

Arnav's eyes were red and rimmed, as close to tears as he'd ever been..."I love her Payal...Look at me!" he said as he smacked his hand to his chest..."I'm a damn mess! I don't know who I am without her!!!"

Payal peered out at the rest of the family, who were deep in discussion..."Go...go to her..."

Instantly leaving, he followed Khushi to the poolside...

"Khushi?"

She shivered, "Please leave me Arnavji. There is no more to say between us."

Arnav stood in front of her and held her gaze..."there is more to say from my side...Khushi i'm dying here. I can't live, i can't breathe...I need you..."

Khushi felt her soul sting and yet the hurt resurfaced..."Sure, you need me when you realize you're wrong...you need me when you realize i'm innocent..."

"I. AM. SO. SORRY. I am begging you to forgive me! I know what i did! I know! I was wrong!"

Her lips were now trembling as tears gathered in her eyes..."I can't forget....I can't forgive you."

Arnav dropped to his knees before Khushi bunching her saree in his hands... 

"Khushi, I need you...I need you in my life! I am so in love with you...You are still my wife...I don't want this to end...please Khushi"

Khushi wanted to thrash him and comfort him at the same time...

"...you...you..." tears were now flowing down her cheeks..."You said 6 months. You said i WASN'T your wife. You said i disgusted you. You said you hated me!...you got your way then...and now you want your way again..." she pressed her hand to her heart trying to quell the pain away...

He edged closer on his knees, holding the material of her sarree tight..."Please...Please..I'm begging you..."

And a boulder of pain slammed down hard inside her..."You beg!? YOU!? How many times did I beg? I begged you to believe me! I begged Shyamji to leave me alone! I begged my family to...to take me back! But I have had enough! I hate you!"

Her breath was getting harder and harder to catch...

Her heart beating harder than it had in months...

As she turned to walk away, yanking her clothes from his grasp, Arnav stood up and abruptly and ran in front of her...

"Khushi," he voice strained to come out, being choked back by tears..."Khushi...i know what i said...i was angry, and i never should have said it...i am totally ashamed...but Khushi, I love you...i wanted to tell you that for months...but...please...please don't leave...i can't live without you..."

Tears were now blurring Khushi's vision...

Her hands reached out and shoved him away..."Do you know how long I dreamt of my perfect wedding...? Do you know how many dreams i had? About the perfect man for me? About how i would be treated!? You even made me sleep OUTSIDE! OUTSIDE ARNAVJI!"

Stalking closer, the desperation inside him was clear..."i will never forgive myself for doing that to you...i'm so so sorry Khushi...i'm pleading with you to forgive me...i can't breathe without you..."

"Stop it! I don't want to hear anymore..."

"I'm sorry, I love you..."

"Stop...." Khushi shook her head and stepped back feeling dizzy...

"Khushi???" he said reaching out for her...

"don't touch me..." She said barely audible...

He saw her stumbling about to fall and reached out to catch her...

"Khushi...No! Calm down Jaan! Please! Calm..."

"Arnavji...I ...I..."

And she collapsed in his arms...

He held her close staring at her in disbelief...he did this. 

He had finally broken her...

Holding her tightly against him, his tears burst out..."My Khushi...my bright happy Khushi...I did this...I...I hate myself! I hate ASR!"

He began walking to his room to lay her on the bed when she started waking up in his arms...

Arnav froze.

Khushi looked up at him...

Time stood still as all thoughts evaporated...

She looked at him with the same eyes that held so much innocence and yet had lost so much spark...and he'd be dammed if he let her go again...

Khushi was jolted out of her daze when she heard Payal call out..."Khushi?"

He knew that they were out of sight, and he wasn't done being alone with his wife.

Khushi tried to kick, her weak body lashing out telling Arnav to put her down, but he held her firmly, stayed silent, and walked to his room...

He put her on his bed and knowing that his bedroom door was already locked walked to lock the poolside doors and draw the curtains...

He took a deep breath, turning to see a stunned Khushi sitting on his bed...

She opened her mouth to say something but was still completely taken aback by his primal attitude...

He didn't want to scare her, but then thought to himself..."what i plan to do would probably make her pretty damn speechless anyway..."






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