Wednesday, June 13, 2012

FF : I Am...Free Part 4





Arnav’s bloodshot eyes were locked onto Khushi...

She lay still and quiet as she slept...

“I’m sorry...” he breathed...

Her stomach rose and fell as peace enveloped her...

“Chote?”

Arnav couldn't even glance up...all his energy had depleted...

“Di...I...I can’t...”

Anjali sat beside Arnav on the couch...
“Chote...are you alright? Please take your medication, for me? Please...”
He shook his head...”I can’t lose Khushi...but...” his desperately tried to draw in breath...”I think I have...”

Tears and sorrow, like nothing he’d ever experienced, slathered his heart...

“Chote...”

“Di, come out...please think of your health...I have brought you some tea...Please come...”

Oblivious to anything happening around him, he barely noticed when Payal ushered Anjali out of his room...

“I can’t lose you...I can’t lose you Khushi...”

…....................


“Arnavji...We can’t make this work...”

He spun away from the window and was beside her in three quick strides, his fingers closing over her wrist.


“Khushi...look at me....”

He was completely in her space, so close to her that a piece of paper would get stuck between them.

Even though she refused to admit it, Arnav could feel the rampant heat that was still there between them...

But he also knew that the flare of it terrified her.

Khushi closed her eyes to hide what she felt, but his fingers tightened fractionally.

“It’s still here...what you once felt...it’s still here...”

Statement, not question.

“Look at me, Khushi. Tell me you don’t feel it... ”

Silently Khushi cursed her traitorous body, the way his touch and his words made her heart beat eratically...

Before she could even take a breath, his other hand gripped her face and the lips she remembered every night since the horrific kidnapping came down on hers with ferocious hunger.

The slightly rough surface of his lips, the heat of his mouth, the possessive greediness of the kiss brought back every memory she’d worked so hard to bury.

When his tongue pushed inside and sought hers, she was lost.

Truly lost. 



She couldn’t move.

Not just because Arnav had her gripped in both hands but because her legs were so weak she wasn’t sure they’d even hold her upright, and her brain had suddenly vanished...

When he finally lifted his head Khushi was dazed and shaking.

"What the hell had just happened?" she thought furiously

They were still pressed together, tightly...

“Go ahead, Khushi...”

His mouth was still only a breath away from hers.

“Tell me you don’t feel that the way I do. Tell me this didn’t affect you one bit. There’s a piece missing in my heart that only you can fill Khushi...”

She wanted to say something, anything.

Deny this…whatever this was.

But all she could do was look into those smoky eyes and wish she could turn back time.

“It’s still here Khushi...I know it is....” His warm breath feathered across her mouth. “And I’m not going to let you go...Not now...Not ever...not ever...not ever..."



His words echoed...

Khushi gasped and sat up with a start...

Clutching her head, she looked frantically around the room...

A dream.

It was all a dream...



.................................

“Khushi?” Arnav said anxiously..."are you...are you okay?"

Her eyes widened.

She didn’t blink.

Her head turned slowly and saw Arnav.

Sitting on the couch in front of her...

Hurrying to stand, she stumbled slightly and Arnav reached out to try and steady her...

“No!” she said firmly before he was able to touch her...

Arnav withdrew his hand...”I need to speak to you...just one minute...please...”

All Khushi saw were his eyes staring into hers as if trying to see what was written on her soul.

“What.” she said flatly.

“Khushi...I...I made the biggest mistake of my life...”

His words were so soft Khushi almost didn’t hear them.

“I’d take everything back right now if I could.”

“No, you wouldn’t. You wanted this...”

Khushi threw his words back in his face to try and prove to him that the spell he had cast on her had broken...

He stepped an inch closer...

“NO. It is too late to do anything...” Khushi said firmly as her dream flashed before her eyes...

“Please Khushi, It can’t be too late...When you found me and rescued me, I...I was full of Anger. Pain. Refusal to accept any responsibility on my part. Khushi I am ready to crawl back to you on my knees and beg your forgiveness. To say that I regret what I have done isn’t enough...I can’t live without you....”

His eyes were delving straight into hers...

His face was dead serious, his eyes full of emotion.

“Arnavji.” her words were guarded...”I do not want to be with you...because...I do not trust you...I am afraid to believe any of your words. I’ve wrapped myself in pain for so many years...there is no point for me to unveil the last unshattered piece of my heart, only to have you break that too...”

Arnav stopped.

His heart doused by her words...


Khushi walked past him, without looking back.

Falling back to the couch, his body crumpled over...

He was sure that if it was possible, he was about to disappear for lack of oxygen...

With tightly shut eyes, his mind persecuted him...

All the times she had been so close to him...

All the times their eyes danced rhythmically...

The times she stood so close that if he bent his head just that extra inch or so he could have brushed his lips against hers....

“Oh God...” his voice berated himself...” I am well and truly lost...How can I go on without her...”

His thoughts answered for him...”Because you sent her to jail...after everything she had done...you didn’t need proof for her innocence! You wanted your power back! Well you have it...at the expense of Khushi...”






2 comments:

  1. omg that last statement was just magic! wanting the power and control back in his life after being kidnapped. Khushi has always been his weakness, she makes him lose control and brings out emotions that's hes long buried since the death of his parents.love how in character ASR is!! love this story.

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  2. "His thoughts answered for him...”Because you sent her to jail...after everything she had done...you didn’t need proof for her innocence! You wanted your power back! Well you have it...at the expense of Khushi...”

    Omg that last paragraph! Shit!! He was losing control over himself, his emotions and his life in general. So he lashes out at Khushi. Damn it; my hearts bleeding for the both of them. They have so much to work on in their relationship. And the fact that Khushi numbed herself to him isn’t going to help. Hopefully they manage to talk a few things over before jumping into the physical stuff

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