Sunday, June 24, 2012

FF : I Am...FREE Part 8





Khushi rigidly sat on her bed feeling genuinely stunned.

Her eyes slid closed as she touched her lips...

“Oh God what just happened...”

Tears began to slide down her cheeks...

She had been terrified of a hard kiss...but instead she felt the most delicate of caresses...

Her mind had been a burden of fear and insecurity, only to be overtaken by an unshackling freedom that rescued her frightened heart and heated her blood...

“Khushi?”

Instantly her heart began to pick up speed...as well as her anger...

Her eyes launched open and she rose from the bed...

Her glare was cold and her reaction automatic...”How DARE you kiss me! HOW DARE YOU!”

“Khushi, Please...Please don’t push me away...I truly and deeply regret hurting you...that...that kiss...”

Her chest began to hurt...

The pressure unbearable...

Could a person’s heart really break?

Arnav continued softly...“That kiss was...did you think...that it was NK kissing you?”

Looking away, she felt a shiver pulse through her...“Did I think it was Nanheji?” her heart stilled as her mind raced...”Would I have reacted the same way if it WAS Nanheji?”

Her thoughts began to spike up...”Did I? Did I think that Nanheji kissed me...I think I did...Did I?”

She remembered responding as though she was intoxicated...

But the moment was fleeting...

Once she had opened her eyes, she was shocked...

“But was I shocked that it was Arnavji? Or did I know it was him, and I was shocked because I responded...”

Arnav stepped closer as he heard her speak...

“You’ve always responded to me Khushi...My heart has been completely desolate these past few days...I felt that maybe...maybe your heart would no longer connect with mine...but after I kissed you...”

”Did I speak...out...loud?”

Arnav held her gaze and nodded...

"No...I don’t know WHAT happened, but I will not have my heart continuously battered by you! I will NOT!" Khushi said angrily...

“I don’t WANT to hurt you Khushi! And I swear I won’t distrust you again!”

Khushi’s eyes were almost black with fury...”You may not distrust me, but will certainly NEVER trust YOU again!”

Despair plundered his soul, the knives that he felt slice through his veins would soon puncture his heart...

Urgently, he moved forward...

Khushi stepped backwards into the wall, her warning glare met his...“Get Away! Stay away from me!!!”

With dripping eyes, and rasping voice, Arnav spilled his heart’s feelings...

”Khushi...you both infuriate me and thrill me, i love everything about you, the hot fire in your eyes when you’re mad at me, that throaty growl in your voice when you want to berate me, but instead you turn and walk away, giving my eyes the most divine view, watching your hips sway...your musical laughter, your beautiful smile...i just love you...I can’t give up Khushi...I can’t...I am so hopelessly in love with you that I will never, EVER give up trying to bring you back to me...”

Something in her chest tightened.

Again she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

When she didn’t speak he gave her wrist a tug and pulled her against him...

Speechless she allowed him to pull her against his body...

His hand moved to the back of her head as his mouth slowly slanted over hers...

Lips locked in a slow sensual seal, he guided her back against the hard wall, following so his firm hard body draped against hers...

And as he covered her body with his, the volcano erupted.

Their passion for each other, so long denied, now came pouring out, audacious and reckless...

Khushi roughly snapped her mouth away...

Arnav held her immobile with unfathomable strength...

“Khushi...” his voice ragged...”I love you...

“Stop...please...Can’t you see my heart it breaking!”

She tried to draw in breath, but the weight inside her chest was suffocating her...

“I ...I can’t go through this again...”

Arnav hugged her closer...”You won’t...Never...I won’t allow it...I am here for YOU...all I am, is for YOU!”

Her sobs tore at his heart...

“No...No...”

“Khushi...You knew it was me for certain this time...and you kissed me back...”

She slowly lifted her eyes to his...

More confusion filled her already clouded mind...

How had she gone from despising him, to losing herself in his arms?

Her lips were trembling...

Arnav lowered his head...

His lips were a breath away from hers...
“Please don’t kiss me again...”

It was a plea.

Blinking back tears, she realized that she wasn’t strong enough to resist him...

When Arnav saw the emotion flickering in her eyes, he felt his heart swell...

“I’m not backing down...I’m going to do whatever it takes to make you mine Khushi...”

The ruthlessness in his tone sent another shiver down her spine...

He held her a little closer...a little tighter...

“I don’t want you! I don’t!” even as she spoke, something inside her crumbled...

There was no need to deny it...

She loved him...

Just as much as she hated him...

The contradicting emotions tortured her...

A migraine began to start inside her head and she cringed....

“Khushi?” his concern obvious...”Khushi what’s wrong?

He released her slightly as she lifted her hand to her head...

“My...my head...” she mumbled...

“Wait here, I’ll get you some water...”

Khushi walked to the couch and sat down taking deep breaths...

Arnav returned and handed her some water and draped an arm around her...

Drinking deeply, Khushi felt some strength returning...

Looking up, Khushi jumped up and backed away feeling sheer panic...

“Don’t touch me!”

If he did…her heart would only shatter further.

Pulse throbbing, wide-eyed, Khushi stared at the achingly handsome man standing far too close for her comfort.

An onlooker might take her reaction as anger, but it was pure, unadulterated fear that drove her.

If Arnav Singh Raizada laid one finger on her, she feared that her resolve would dissolve.

“Khushi, please.”

Please?

How could he sound so sorrowful?

Look so hurt?

Even his eyes seemed to glisten with pending tears.

Khushi raised her head and looked him straight in the eye and licked her suddenly dry lips.

“You...YOU...” she lunged forwards and struck his chest with her fists...”I spent the night in JAIL because of you! People that were once my friends actually shun me!!! Why do you want me again now!? I’ll just have to wait until the next time you distrust me! NO!”

Arnav stood still, his eyes drowned with tears as he took all the attacks she deserved to give him...

When he made no move to stop her, a wall of emotion pushed against her eyelids, making her nose sting and her throat tighten.

Stepping backwards, she turned and ran from the room...

…..........................


“The HELL with him!!!” She spat out coldly as she stormed down the corridor...

If only she could get her heart to say the same...

Her footsteps came to halt when she bumped straight into NK....

When their gazes met, his grin faded.

“Khushiji, you okay?”

She folded her arms across her chest, hugging herself.

Blinking hard didn’t stop one tear from sliding down her cheek.

No use in wiping it away.

The damage was already done.

“What happened?” Nk reached out and she threw herself into his arms.

His embrace warmed her.

She needed to be held and he felt so safe and strong...


"I don't know anything anymore...I just want to forget...I want to be free of all this pain!"

NK held her shoulders and moved her back to face him...

"Khushiji...since when do you not face your problems? I know you've been hurt...but now is the time to heal...Don't let this keep tearing your heart open!"

Khushi's eyes were closed as she spoke..."Nanheji...I have tried to forgive, I have tried so many times...I can't do it anymore..."

NK's eyes were focused on something behind Khushi...something that was watching them closely...

"I won't let Naanav hurt you again Khushiji...I promise..."

The look in NK's eyes almost matched the look of posession in Arnav's...

For Arnav was the one standing close behind his wife...

"She may be in your arms NK, but her heart is still with me..."
…........................


The Raizada family was waiting for the arrival of the Guptas...

Arnav was pacing back and forth when he saw Khushi descend the stairs.

Each step she took made his heart beat faster.

The dark red sari she wore flowed and caressed each curve.

His heart sparked, coming alive...

Unconsciously, he moved forward, meeting her at the bottom of the stairs.

Her cautious, removed gaze met his, but his heart wouldn’t tell his mind what to say.

Strained silence hung between them then she glanced away—the precious moment lost.

Eyelids drifting down, he inhaled the sweet scent of wildflowers that followed her as she walked past him.

And he fell in love all over again.

With renewed determination he opened his eyes, searching the room.
Like a predator stalking his prey, he watched her approach his Di...

Her voice filled the air as she spoke and he swore he’d go mad with need.

No one existed, but her—him—together.

When she drifted out of his sight, he quickly moved …

But the sudden clench of fingers digging into his arm jerked his attention around.

Frowning, Nani leveled her glare on him. “Let it go.”

Arnav shook loose of her grasp.

“I Can’t.”

Nani didn’t know what he was asking of him.

“Chote, you’ve got to. I won’t have you making this mealtime uncomfortable for Anjali and upsetting for Khushi.... After all you have done, I think it would be best if you let her go.”

Disbelief widened Arnav’s eyes.

“Let her go? Are you kidding me?”

“Can’t you see how much you’ve hurt her? She thinks that her family are coming over tonight for dinner, but they called awhile back and refused...their names have been put to shame since Khushi was imprisoned...”

Arnav’s jaw dropped...”What...? I ...I didn’t know...”

Nani began to walk away towards Payal...

“Nani, I don’t know how we can break the news to Khushi...”

“She’s already feeling fragile, I know she puts on a strong facade for my sake, but I just don’t know what else to do...”

“I’ll go and get them Di...” Arnav said sternly...

“Chote. You CAN’T. They are feeling terribly embarrassed. They love Khushiji, they haven’t disowned her, but...they just can’t come out...leave it...”

“But she’ll...she will feel...” Arnav already felt her pain...which he knew would only worsen once he saw in expressed on her face...

…......................

As they all sat down for dinner, Khushi was the first to speak...

“Jiji? Um...Where are...”

“Khushiji...They aren’t coming.” Nk said plainly.

“Nanheji!” Nani and Anjali both cried out...

“We can’t keep this from her, and I’m not going to lie to her...”

She looked to NK...her eyes blank...”...because of the rebuff from what happened?”

NK nodded...

“Khushi...” Payal’s heart hurt for her sister...”It’s ok...they have sent their love to you...Amma says that this will pass...and not to worry...”

Khushi looked down at her hands in her lap...

She felt NK’s hand slide over her own, and instantly she clung to it...

“Nanheji...” she tried to speak, but nothing more would come out...

NK lifted his hand to her face and wiped her tear...

Arnav’s heart was constricting with jealousy watching their conversation, but he remained silent.

“Please...would you all excuse me for a moment...” Khushi stood up briskly and walked towards the kitchen...

Once alone, the tortuous stream of burning tears erupted...

She wanted to scream, to hurt herself, to run, to escape, to die...

Recalling Mami hiding something at one time, she quickly searched the kitchen...

When Khushi saw the bottle, she lifted it slowly...

Unscrewing the lid, she brought it to her lips and drank the entire bottle down in one swoop...


Slamming it down hard on the bench, she spluttered and held her throat as she choked on the strong taste...









2 comments:

  1. Oh my god - please tell me that was hard liquer of some sort and not poison?!

    Naina (IF id: warriorprincess)

    ReplyDelete
  2. i instantly thought it was liqueur...and if it is would it not make khushi a bit more warmer towards arnav if its her heart talking instead of her mind :)
    Sonia x

    ReplyDelete