Tuesday, July 24, 2012

FF : I Am...FREE Part 18



Arnav kissed her forehead, wanting to wake her up gently...even though his nerves were on fire...

“Khushi? ...Khushi..."

She stirred slightly...

He moved her carefully and glanced down at her arm...

Deep.

Deep clear cut.

As though she'd been sliced with a long knife.

Thorns of anger grew inside him..."Who did this!?" he thought...

The wound looked almost a week old, as it had only opened up on one side....

It was a thin gash...

No stitches...

"Where was she a week ago?"    

 Jail.

"But..." his mind flashed back to their encounter the night before, and only earlier..."She wasn't bleeding then...was she?"
 
Carefully padding her shirt under his arm, he soaked up the blood on her arm...

"Was she hurt when she was in..."  he clenched his teeth, hatred for himself beginning to boil inside his heart..."Has this even been looked at by a doctor? Has she been hiding this?"

The faint smudges of makeup were mottled around the dried blood...

Eyes slamming closed, he gentled his hold on her even more...

Khushi felt cool air rush over her body and tried to move closer to his warm chest...

"She will wake soon..." he thought..."She's been hiding this for a reason...I don't want her to feel tensed or pressured..."

Before Arnav could think further, the situation was upon him...

Her eyelids fluttered open...

Trying to remain calm, he smiled..."Hi..."

She bit her lower lip and tried to speak...but instead hissed...

Looking down, she turned pale as she saw the blood stains on his shirt...

Beginning to tremble, she quickly tried to apologize..."I...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...Your shirt is...I'm..."

Grasping her chin with his fingers, he brought his lips to hers...

After successfully quieting her, he breathed his words over her mouth..."Khushi...I don't give a damn about the shirt..."

He withdrew and stared head on in to her eyes..."Why are you bleeding? Who did this to you?"

She tried to sit up but Arnav held her firmly.

"Khushi, You're hurt, and I'm NOT letting you go till you tell me..."

"I...I need to ...Bandage..."

Lifting her in his arms, he carried her to the bathroom and sat her carefully on the bench...

Keeping his hand on her, he searched the cabnets for what he needed...

Now facing her again, he wet a washcloth and began to clean away the blood..

"Are...are you..."

He looked up expectantly...

"Are you going to...to do this for me?" Her eyes were almost begging him for help, but she was still Khushi...he knew that she wanted to do everything herself...

"Khushi...You're not alone...and yes...I'm going to care for you...and then...we're going to talk about this..."

He carefully cleaned her skin, and applied an antibacterial cream...

His heart constricted for every pain filled whimper she gave...

Ripping the gauze from it's packet, he gently wrapped it around her arm, and sealed it with surgical tape.

He stroked the crease of her elbow.

She looked up with regret in her eyes...

"Khushi..." his hands came up to her face..."Khushi what happened? Why did you hide this? Have you been to the doctor? Please...Please tell me, I'm in pain seeing you in pain..."

Khushi's tears began to fall...

She had such deep pockets of sadness inside her.

Arnav tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, then followed the line of her jaw to the other ear.

"I did it..."

Her words speared through his heart...

Her words made his hands hold her tighter...

Her words made his soul possess her more...

She had hurt herself?

"Did I really push her that far?"

He wanted to ask her...

But he wanted more than anything to ease her distress, and so he hooked his arm around her and pulled her close.

And he went ahead and kissed the slope of her shoulder, breathing her in.

“Are you in pain? Are you ok?” he asked, once he’d calmed himself enough to speak.

Nodding,  she forced a small smile, but her eyes were tortured and almost embarrassed..

He looked from her bandaged arm, back to her eyes...

“Khushi...I should probably call the doctor to check your arm...”

"No!” Her eyes were now wide..."Please don't, It's fine...really..." she grabbed his shirt ..."Please...please..."

She began to shake.

Not the tiny quivers of earlier, but full-bodied tremors.

He tightened his hold, soothed her with quiet shushing sounds, with the stroke of his hand up and down her rib cage, with his lips against the side of her neck.

"Shhhh...Ok...Ok...but please, tell me why..."

He felt her pull him closer...

"The pain...It was getting too much...I...I couldn't...I couldn't cope...I didn't want to die, I just wanted take the pain away from my heart...and put it somewhere else..."

Arnav felt his own emotions dripping fiercely from his eyes...

"Kh...Khushi...I...I'm ..."
 
Her head jerked up..."I'm sorry...I'm sorry... I regretted it instantly...I'm..."

Arnav swiftly suctioned his lips to hers..."quiet....." he whispered as he leaned back..."I'm so...I'm so sorry for hurting you that much..."

He let her cry...allowing her to release...

When she finally quieted, he spoke gently... “Let me look after you today...”

Her swollen eyes rose to his...“Do I look like I need looking after today?”

"Yes."

He kissed her softly.

Slowly.

Waiting for that moment when she swayed into him.

When that happened, he lifted her in his arms and carried to the bed.

He kept his mouth on hers as he undressed her from the bloodied shirt, his hands lovingly caressing every section of skin he exposed.

“Lie back.”

He positioned himself close beside her, loving how her arms immediately circled his neck, pulling him closer.

Her hold became unyeilding...

She was crying again...

His eyes slammed shut...

She used to be so strong...

She used to withstand so much...

And now...

"A...Ar...Arnavji....will you...?"

Placing a firm hand over her lower back, he held her still...

He needed no guidance...moving his body against her, his erection connected with her opening and he eased inside on a slow, wet glide.

Resting his forehead to hers, he stayed still, losing  himself in this moment.

Then Khushi moved her head back to look into his eyes..."I'm okay...Arnavji...”

"I’m not. .." his voice was gravelly and forced...

She had no idea how everything had changed for him.

Realizing he loved her and hoping a part of her was attuned enough to him to sense the change.

He held her gaze as he started to move, her tight channel such a perfect fit.

She rolled her hips up to meet his easy thrusts, not in an attempt to get him to increase the pace, but showing him this wouldn’t be him making love to her— but them making love together.

Even when her climax was within reach, she didn’t lock her legs around his waist, or grind into him.

She just let him, let the connection of their bodies take her there.

Arnav watched her beautiful face awash in pleasure.

When he couldn’t hold back another second, he threw his head back...

Moments later, when his eyes met her, he noticed some of the shadows were gone from her eyes.

"That was incredible..." he whispered...

Her cheeks turned  bright red...

This woman was such a contradiction, Bold one second, shy the next...

He loved that about her.

"You love everything about her, you idiot..." his thoughts reprimanded him...

But then her broken look returned...

He rolled her to her side, so she didn't lay on her wounded arm...

Rising up, he placed soft kissed over her bandage...

Pulling her close, he spoke firmly...“There are no limits Khushi...there is NOTHING I wouldn't do to protect you, or make you happy..."

Lifting his hand, he tipped her face up...

Then he kissed her with sweet deliberation.

When he finally released her mouth, she was shaking. 


“I know that I am the one who put that sadness in your eyes... But I vow, that I will be the one to take it away...”

Her next words breached his heart and hit his soul...


“I love you Arnavji...”

A falling sensation swept him away at full force....

“...say...say that one more time...please...”

“I...I love you...and that...that scares me so much...”

Arnav saw her fear...it was real, palpable...

"No..." he thought..."she's not just scared of that...something else has happened...what has happened...?"

“Khushi..." his voice was gentle..."Why are you scared...?”














6 comments:

  1. Love the update very much thanks for pm, can't wait for the next update. I would love to hear what is going to happen.

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  2. just awesome
    loved ur writing style
    salute to u
    thnks for pm n such a nice update :)
    sikhni_from IF

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  3. Hey Sarah !
    Loved the update. I am falling in love with this story more and more with each update.
    Update the next part soonish. Thanks for the PM !
    Much love ! <3

    PollyTrolly IF.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Loved the update:).

    (tinsel)

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  5. oh my god I feel bad for her she wasn't trying to kill herself just destroying her self from her emotional pain and now she is going to have a scar to remind her about it for the rest of her life.

    ReplyDelete