Tuesday, November 20, 2012

SS : Memories Part 12



Khushi felt numb.

He loved her even before she KNEW that he loved her...

He had been silent for so long, until the DAY of their accident...

They had only had that one incomplete day to share their young love...

And it had been cut short...

"You loved me all that time?" she asked quietly...

"Yes...I wanted to tell you so many times...each day that passed, I just became more crazy about you..."

Khushi suddenly planted her hands on his chest and pushed him hard...

His eyes opened wide with shock and he tripped back...

Steadying himself, he was about to ask what the hell was the matter when she struck him again, knocking him back against the wall...

"Not even ONE day!!!!" she said brokenly

"What?" he was completely baffled by her sudden change of attitude...

"WHY did we have to meet again!!! WHY!!!"

Arnav grabbed her striking arms and held them forcefully at her sides..."Khushi! STOP! What are you saying!?"

She tried to turn away and he angrily put hit foot out to trip her, making her fall instantly into his arms...

As their gazes met, he saw her tears...

"Khushi...what's wrong...talk to me..."

She had one arm around his neck, holding on tightly, and the other, hung limply down at her side...

He held her, as she made no move to step away from him...

"We...we didn't even get one day Arnavji...why didn't you tell me sooner..."

His heart ached as he finally understood...

"I was okay! I had the memory of our love, I had Jiji, I was doing FINE... But now...now I don't understand anything anymore..."

Slowly, Arnav lifted her to stand..."Khushi...If I had told you any sooner, you may not have felt the same way...and I will never forgive whoever caused our time to be cut short 4 years ago..."

She looked away, her soul crying out to be held close...

"Khushi, I KNOW you were 'fine' before this...But the love you remembered was just a memory...A lasting memory for you to hold onto, until now...Be my brave best friend...be brave enough to face this..."

"Four years have passed...I'm not really a strong kind of person anymore Arnavji..."

"Yes you are...You ARE Khushi...you've hidden it deep down inside you..."

As he watched her, she felt something all too familiar stir inside her...

It was now that she wished he hadn't kissed her earlier...

Her lips began to tingle and her fingers came up to brush them slightly...

She could recall every movement of his mouth on hers...

She could still feel the passion...and the love...

Friends certainly did NOT kiss like that, and she tried to harden her heart, telling herself that all she wanted was his friendship...

"Khushi...I know that you were quite depressed and confused when you woke up in the hospital...and I wish, so badly, that I had been there for you...but just because our lives together halted for 4 years, doesn't mean that we should hold back...we have a love that is TRUE..."

She felt the heat of his emotions melting the ice around her heart..."How do you know that it is true...?"

He slowly stepped closer, his hands by his sides, as only his gaze touched her..."Because TRUE love is never ending...even if there is separation...even if there is hatred...even if there is fighting...TRUE LOVE remains, because love never dies...and through these long 4 years, we have never stopped loving each other..."

Khushi could hardly breathe at his words...

She felt dizzy at his close proximity...

Her knees weakened and she swayed slightly...

Arnav instantly slid his arms around her waist, holding her tight against his chest...

"I can't...I can't do this...I feel...I feel so...the feeling of love I have had all those years...the feeling that has kept me going, kept me strong...it's gone now..."

Gripping her waist with one hand, he roughly grabbed her hair with his other, and pulled her head up to lock their eyes...

"Gone!? GONE!..." he clenched his jaw, slamming his eyes shut briefly...

Khushi's lips parted she felt him haul her unbearably close...

She knew that if she made so much as a sound of displeasure, then he would release her, so she held her breath...

When his eyes sprung open, Arnav stared intensely into the eyes of the one woman in the world that could bring him to his knees...

"Khushi..." his voice sounded gruff, like a tigers growl..."I will always be your friend...I'll be your friend in ANY circumstance...but when we are this close, when I kiss you, when I touch you, when I merely LOOK at you...I CAN'T pretend I want you to be anything other than MINE..."

She didn't say anything...simply looked into his eyes...

Love.

It wasn't gone.

Their love was stronger than ever, and it was trying to heal them...

Arnav had already opened up, and now it was her turn...

"Where's my brave best friend?" he whispered...

She'd stolen all the oxygen from the air, and with it, every ounce of his rationality...

"Khushi, If you don't want to be kissed you better tell me quickly..."

"RUN AWAY!" screamed her fear...

But she didn't.

The dim beams from the light above them shone in her eyes...

She looked like an illusion...a fairytale princess conjured to life by the sheer strength of his love and desire...

There was only so much temptation a man could withstand, and Arnav was long past his limit...

Leaning closer, he touched his mouth to hers...

She was most definitely real...

Khushi instantly opened to him...

When he slid his tongue along her lips, she let out a soft gasp of sincere pleasure...

Their mouths paused...

Time froze...

Arnav desperately wanted to dive in and kiss her, but he held back...

Khushi felt his breath on her mouth...

Their lips touched gently...

Arnav tried to reign in his need and was about to pull away when he heard her take in a deep breath, letting out a tiny moan from the back of her throat...

And then, he was kissing her in truth, tasting her, unable to stop himself...

He had an earnest fear that if he let her go, she would float away...

His tongue found hers as their lips melded together...

Arnav continued to kiss her until her breath was his, her kiss was his, her heart was his...but her mind...

Even with her entire body responding, he felt an ache inside him...

He knew that at any moment, she may realize fully what was happening and push him away...

For now, Reality was the illusion for her...

His heart wept as he felt her hands clutching his shirt, trying to pull him closer...

What her heart wanted was the true reality...but until she realized that,  he was going to kiss her, for no reason except  that he loved her...

He wasn't going to let any note of uncertainty taint the sweet taste of their love...

Arnav wished time would go on forever, but he soon felt her start to withdraw...

Her hands had released him...

Her kiss was less fevered...

Finally, Khushi pulled away...

Her eyes wide, her lips pouty...

She had only moved back a few inches, but it was far enough that could no longer smell her sweet scent...

Confusion and realization appeared on her face...

Arnav couldn't help himself, he molded his hand to her face..."Khushi...?"

She bowed her head as he brushed his lips against her forehead...

He could feel her trembling...

"Khushi...I'm...I shouldn't have...." he stopped....

He couldn't bring himself to apologize for kissing her...

"I SHOULD have kissed her damn it!!" He thought furiously..."I should tell her that I hold every single touch and kiss inside my heart!"

Khushi began to squirm slightly, but Arnav was reluctant to relinquish his hold on her...

And again, she stilled to look into his eyes...

"Arnavji...I...I've only ever been kissed by one person...you..."

The impact of her words shook his spirit...

"Khushi...I'll be your friend, I WANT to be your friend, but I can't hide the way I feel for you...I can't...It's impossible for me..."

"I don't want you to hide anything from me...I always said that you should show your emotions more..."

Khushi saw him smile slightly ...

"Khushi, I finally found what I had been searching for all these years...you..."

Her gaze lowered, as she shivered...

"Khushi, you haven't lost the love you felt...It was my love for you that made you hold on this long...till we could reunite again...and I'm going to make you realize that..."

"Chote!! Khushiji!!"

Arnav expected Khushi to spring away from him, but she stood motionless, looking into his eyes...

His lips twisted in a brief smile as he lifted his hands to her face..."So, my princess...shall we go and tell Payal that y..."

"No..." she quickly replied...

Arnav quirked his brow, smirking at her..."No? Khushi...Why?"

The moment for her to move away had finally come...

He loathed to let her go, but he did nonetheless.

"Khushi...why don't you want..."

"I need to have some time to myself Arnavji...I need to..."

"Think?" he finished her sentence...

She lifted her eyes to his...

"I remember someone saying...'why do you need to think about things all the time! Why can't you just follow your heart!' I think that someone was..."

Khushi blushed..."that was me...I...I know I used to say that to you...you were ALWAYS such a thinker...but...but Arnavji, I haven't been myself since the accident...I just want to try to...to..."

Her words evaporated as Arnav let his hands slide down her arms and grip her hands..."You don't have to explain anything to me Khushi...I am not going anywhere...you are a part of my life...you always have been..."


.........................


Khushi was quiet.

She had been questioned about her silence all night by her sister...

Eventually she said an early goodnight and meandered up the stairs...

Arnav walked by her as she was about to enter her room...

He paused beside her..."Goodnight..."

She tried to stop herself from looking up, but her fluttering pulse drew her eyes upwards...

"G...Goodnight..." she breathed...

Arnav smiled and lifted her hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to the palm of her hand...

Khushi's face blushed a bright red and she quickly hurried into her room...

As Arnav strode past her room, he over heard another conversation...

"They look at each other like they're about to kiss..." Anjali said smiling...

"They really do don't they...I don't understand why Khushi was so quiet tonight...She was okay this morning..."
 
"She just needs some time to herself Payal...

Both Anjali and Payal looked up to see Arnav standing in the doorway...

"What do you mean Arnavji?"

Anjali nodded saying..."Yes Chote, what are you saying?"

Arnav walked in..."We look at each other like we're about to kiss, because...because we have kissed..."

"TODAY?!" They both asked in unison...

Arnav sat down opposite them..."Today, yesterday...a few times before that as well..."

Payal and Anjali's jaws dropped as they sat in a stunned silence...

"I just thought you both might like something new to chat about..."

Arnav stood up and slowly wandered out of the room.

He quickly turned back and leaned in..."And I'd appreciate it if you would both give Khushi some time to herself...She just needs to think things through..."

He winked and disappeared from the room...



................

Khushi was now quietly ensconced in her room...

She showered and dressed...

Combed her hair and tied it back...

All the while, she thought of Arnav's words to her...

Laying down on the bed, she pulled a pillow over to hold onto...

And the moment she closed her eyes, was when she felt his mouth on hers...

The sheets against her skin brought to mind the strong band of his arms around her, the tightly controlled tension of his muscles...

Her eyes opened..."He loved me...He STILL loves me..."

As sleep eluded her, she could see his eyes as clearly as if he were in front of her...

"I could look into his eyes forever...I get all tingly when He stares at me..."

She thought back to his words..."Where's my brave best friend..."

Closing her eyes once more, she prayed that she could find the strength...

The strength to let love back into her life...










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