Thursday, April 18, 2013

SS : Take What's Left Of My Heart Part 7




"What the FUCK is going on…?" Arnav growled...

His reflection of himself in the bathroom mirror was white with fear and confusion…

"She is serious…" he slammed his palms down hard on the countertop…"She is damn serious about this all this 'just an act' shit!"

Roughly raking his fingers through his hair, he reined in his urge to scream…

"I can't do this...I can't pretend that we're happily married in front of my family...I want us to be happily married FOR REAL! I can't just have 'sex' with her! Not after what I did...I want to make love to her!..."

He stopped.

His lips thinned to a hard line as determination rose into his eyes…

"I want to make love to her…" he repeated…

He smiled…"She wants 'just sex'...well, she's in for a big surprise…"

……………..


Arnav purposefully decided to get up late the next day…

Khushi was stunned to see him sleeping on the couch when she woke up, but quickly dismissed seeing him…

"He is my husband. Nothing more."

Slowly sauntering down the stairs, she ran into Payal…

"Khushi, let's make breakfast together today?"

Smiling, feeling the first semblance of normality in weeks, Khushi threw her arms around her sister…

"Jiji...when did things get so complicated...WHY did things get so complicated…!?"

"Complicated?..." Payal became worried…"Khushi? Are YOU alright?"

As she pulled back, Khushi remembered the reason for her contract marriage…

"I...I'm fine Jiji...are you happy? You and Jijaji?"

Payal blushed…"We are wonderful...I love him so much…"
"Then I did the right thing…" Khushi sighed as a mixture of peace and pain flowed through her…

"what?  What do you mean...right thing?"

Stuttering for a moment, Khushi jumped in saying…"uh...well...you know...that day...that day that we all tricked you that Akash had jumped off…"

Payal quickly covered Khushi's mouth…"Don't say it! I don't think I'll ever truly forgive ANY of you for playing such a horrible trick on me…"

Khushi tried to speak again, but Payal pinched her cheeks…"But I LOVE you for pushing me to follow my heart and admit my love…"

"Payalji? Khushiji?"

The ladies turned to see Anjali and Shyam entering…

"Goodmorning…" Shyam said, directing his greeting at both ladies, but keeping his eyes on Khushi…

Feeling uncomfortable, Khushi pulled at her sister's hand…"Come, we'll start preparing the food…"

As they walked to the kitchen, Khushi glanced back as she saw a smiling Anjali link arms her deceiving husband…

"I can't see her fall apart...I can't see anyone else fall apart…" her head screamed…


……………


Arnav had finally woken up, showered, and immediately started searching for Khushi…

Their eyes locked the moment he stood at the top of the stairs…

As he got nearer, he could see her nervous expression…

Sitting down, he greeted everyone…"Goodmorning…"

"Goodmorning Chote…" nani said smiling briefly…

"Chote? It's been weeks since you've had breakfast with us...Is everything alright?"
"Ofcourse Di!" Khushi chimed in…"I'm sure he's missed seeing everyone...always coming and going before we all wake and sleep…"

Anjali smiled…

"I have...I have missed you all…" Arnav scanned all the faces around the table, and finally focused on Khushi…

She could feel him staring at her, and her eyes lifted like magnets to his…

His hand softly covered hers as he mouthed the words…"I love you…"


……………..


After Breakfast, Arnav excused himself and disappeared upstairs…

Khushi finished clearing the table and was about to ascend the stairs when she heard a voice behind her…

"Playing happy families now Khushiji?"

She stepped up…

"Walking away from me now Khushiji?"

Her steps became faster…

"Khushiji…don't think that you'll escape…"

"Shyamji?"

Khushi froze on the stairs and peered around…

"Rani Saaba? Are you alright?"

Anjali smiled…"I'm okay...I was going to go to our room to rest…"

Taking her hand in his, Shyam smirked towards Khushi as they began to follow her…

Khushi spun around and almost sprinted towards her room…

Simultaniously, Arnav, who was still in their room, pulled on his jacket,  picked up his briefcase and headed for the door…

The second he opened it, Khushi ran into him…

"What the!?" he muttered in shock

Khushi's eyes were wide with shock as she stepped back covering her mouth for a moment…"I...I'm...I'm so sorry...I…"

His eyes softened instantly…"Khushi, it's okay…really...It's okay...I'm not angry..."

Arnav stepped back  and offered her entry into their room…

Voices drifted towards her and she knew that Anjali and Shyam were getting closer…

“I don't want to come in…"

"What?..." concern flooded his eyes…"What's wrong Khushi?"

"Come out into the hallway …… and kiss me….. "

Arnav's lips parted, but he was unable to speak…

"...Kiss me as if you want me.” Khushi whispered...

Arnav's head fogged over…

He had no idea what was going on, but one thing he heard loud and clear…

“Khushi...I DO want you...” he said in a low voice.

“Then if you still truly love me... kiss me...”

“With pleasure...” he said loudly, as he stepped into the hall, dropping his case...

She shuddered with remembered fear as he gathered her into his arms.

It had been a long time since this man had held her with such gentleness and care.

Holding her against his body, he bent his head toward hers, brushing his lips against her cheek, then moving to her mouth.

Her body stiffened as he began to kiss her harder...

"This is all wrong…" he though as he lifted his head slightly…"Khushi...I can't...” he whispered.

From out of the corner of her eye she could see Anjali and Shyam walking towards them…

"Shyam needs to see that I belong to Arnavji…" she thought nervously…"And Di needs to see that Arnavji and I are happy…"

If she backed away now, she would not find the courage again... “No, don’t stop.”

“Why?"

"Please!"

"Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“In that case . . .” ...He gathered her more tightly in his arms, stroking down the planes of her back.

She shut her eyes, forcing herself to relax.

“Don’t think about it so hard. Stop thinking so hard…" she repeated to herself…"...don't concentrate on what your body is feeling...this is just an act...”

"Khushi, I love you…" he whispered to her, his breath hot on her cheek… "Let yourself go, and I will catch you.”

Her hands scrunched into fists as she held onto him…

"Oh my God!"

Anjali's loud outburst broke the kiss apart...

Khushi pushed against Arnav's chest but he held on...simply staring...

"Di...Di, I'm sorry...I...Arnavji was just ..."

Anjali's face was red with embarrassment, and Shyam's face was red with anger...

"Chote, I know you love her, but you can't just jump on her like this...She KNEW we were following her up the stairs..."

That's when Arnav's eyes moved to his sister...

"She knew...?"

Anjali shook her head with a playful smile on her face..."It's okay...I understand..."

Khushi stood in silence until she was once again alone with Arnav...

When she finally had the guts to look him in the eye, his expression showed how much he was hurting...

"You knew...you knew they were coming and asked me to kiss you...for them...for THEM."

She opened her mouth to speak, but Arnav leaned down to retrieve his briefcase and stormed away.


.........................


Arnav skulled another hit of liquid, caffeine fire.

"I deserved it...I deserved it…" he kept repeating…

He was angry.

"I used her once...I acted like a loving husband just to make my sister happy…"

He clenched his teeth…

"I just...I thought that…"

The churning in his gut and the pain in his head were the only signs he hadn't gone completely numb.

"Why would she forgive you!" his thoughts screamed back…

And again, he was throttled with flashbacks that always ended with one sight...blood…

Her innocence.

Standing up, he charged across the room…

Laughing sarcastically at himself, he threw his hands in the air…"Where am I even walking to! I work here…!"

He had a sudden urge to go home.

Demand she forgive him.

Prove to her that he could change.

Prove to her that he wanted to change.

Wasn't that what he’d tried to get across to her all week?

He stomped over to his intercom and demanded another shot of espresso…

Male pride reared its ugly head with each additional shot.

Arnav’s thought processes began to blur.

Pride, not love was what got him into this mess.

And he damn well wasn't going to use it to get himself back out.

Even muddled by anger and adrenalin, he knew he deserved every second of his misery.

And miserable didn't begin to describe the horrors lurking in his soul and the paralyzing fear that he’d never  gain her love again.

He itched to throw things, so he wouldn't be haunted by the memory of his actions.


………………..


"Chote?"

Arnav nodded, acknowledging  Nani as he entered the house…

"You're home early…"

His eyes searched his surroundings as he answered…"Yes Nani, I...I finished early...and thought I'd…"
"Spend time with Khushi Bitiya?"

Turning back to face Nani, Arnav felt his heart jump at the mention of his wife's name…

"Yes...yes, I wanted to see her…"

"Well, I'm sure she'll be home soon…"

"Home soon? She's out? Where?"

Anjali walked up behind them…"Chote? You're home…"

Arnav faced his sister, worry coating his eyes…"Where is she?"

Holding onto his arm, Anjali grinned…"It's okay Chote, she went with Payalji to visit her family…"

"oh…" he sighed…"oh right...it's Friday...I remember…"

Nani excused herself and left the room…

"Can I talk with you for a moment Chote?"

Arnav nodded and let her to sit on the couch…

"Chote, I know that Khushi is still angry with you...because of how you two were married…"

Shifting in his seat, Arnav was in no mood to talk about the past pain he'd caused his wife…

"But, please...please talk to her, or even to me...don't take it out on anyone else…"

Eyes glowering with rage, he slammed his eyes shut so she wouldn’t see it…

"Is there anything I can do to help you?"

Arnav briskly stood…"No Di. No. NO. I just need...I need to right things with Khushi…"

"She is a strong woman, she is fine, your relationship will be fine…"

“I am desperate for our relationship to be fine! But you have NO idea what she is doing in order to keep the peace!!!"

Angrily, he thrust his hand through his hair.

"She just wants love Chote, that's all she's ever wanted…"

Pain shot through his heart as he thought…"Not anymore…"

"But please, for me, don't take anymore anger out on Khushi…"

Disdain envelopped him once again…

"On Khushi!?"

Anjali's eyes flooded with tears…

But this time, Arnav remained still.

Glued to the floor.

"I have done so much for you Di, and that is what has lead me into this fucking  nightmare…I’ve been dying inside a little each day for all the trouble and pain I have caused her!”

“Chote...shhhh...”

"Di, I love you...I really do...but right now, and for the rest of my life...I need to put Khushi first…"

Anjali stood up…"I know, and that's what I want you to do...We are all grown up now…and we have our own responsibilities..."

Arnav felt angst tug at his heart..."Even if she weren't my responsibility, I would move heaven and earth to make her happy...and make her mine..."


................







PRECAP - 





"Can you see just how much I love you, and just how much I want to MAKE LOVE to you...I don't want to take...I want to give...I want to give you ALL of myself...I want to pleasure you, kiss you, touch you, hold you…"

His words were starting to make the emotional shield she was holding very heavy…

"I want us...together...joined the way a man and woman should be joined...You, under me...trusting me to give you sensations no one else ever will...”

Arnav could see that he was beginning to reach her…

She tried pushing him away.

He held firm, making her intake of breath shrill and harsh…

"I don't want to TAKE you...I want to give you, ME...Let me erase what I did before…"




9 comments:

  1. well well well... how the tablehas turned.cant wait for the next part.
    love
    ak

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  2. loving the updates and so regular!! Thanks so much.

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  3. waiting 4 next....
    hw Arnav will get khushi back?

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  4. OMG waitin for the next chap

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  5. i am dying to know what will happen next

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  6. wonderful update!!! thank you. Arnav's got his work cut out for him for the rest of his life that is can't wait to read how Arnav will make up for what he had done to Khushi.

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  7. read the missed parts 4, 5, 6 and 7 in one go. loved it. it is so intense and beautifully written. (IF user id laksh65)

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  8. Loved it. Arnav needs to concentrate on Khushi.

    -desisweetheart9 from IF.

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