Thursday, July 16, 2015

SS : The Moment is Coming Part 3



 Khushi's face went bright red, as her lips trembled…

"Khushi…are you…does…this mean…I mean…What…"

With a sudden terror, she pushed away…

Arnav immediately tried to get closer, but her outstretched arms and frightened voice halted him…

"No…p…please…please…no…no more…"

"Khushi…Shhhhh…" he held up his hands in surrender…"I don't want to scare you…shhhh…"

She shivereed and Arnav felt it all the way to his bones…

It took the strength of a nation to hold himself away, but he teetered on the edge as she spoke…

"I don't…I…I don't know why I said that…I…I don't know why I've said anything tonight…"

Arnav mentally screamed at himself…"Quick! Do something! Change the subject before you scare her too much, or God forbid, before she changes her mind."

Nervously, he held out his hand and his chest seized up in pain as she flinched…

"I will never hurt you again Khushi…I promise…Let's go downstairs for dinner…"

Her gaze flitted from his eyes to his hand, and his heart crumbled as she rejected it and walked slowly past him…

Arnav opened the door but before he took another step, turned to face her…"I never intended to scare you tonight Khushi…"

She blinked a few times, but stayed silent…

But in her head, was a tumultuous whirlwind of memories, pain, love, and fear…



…………..




When the family saw Arnav and Khushi returning,  they all tried to look busy…

"Khushi?"

"Khushiji?"

But she could barely focus, let alone speak…

Payal slowly let her away…

"Arnav?!" Nani whispered loudly, "What happened!? Is she okay!?"

His eyes flashed, "She is fine…we…talked for a moment…"

Garima motioned to everyone to be quiet and let it go…

"Amma, This is KHUSHI! How can you be allowing Arnavji-"

"Look at her! Look at her face! She has color. Look at her eyes! They are alive."

Payal and Anjali both studied Khushi as they walked towards the dining area…

"It's true…" Anjali said quietly…

"Whatever evil tore them apart, they were still meant to be together. Now let it happen."

Payal eyed them both warily…"I don't know…I don't want to see her hurt again…"


 …..



Dinner had settled her nerves slightly, but Arnav's heart was still soaring…

He couldn't hold a conversation.

Couldn't focus on food.

Couldn't even breathe properly.

After a monumentally grevious time without her, to have this happen was causing him to hope.

"Well, we had better be going home now."

And that shattered into his conciousness, giving him ALL the concentration he needed.

"What?!"

All eyes now rested on him.

"Chote, you've been quiet all night, and now you choose to speak?"

Ignoring Nani, his eyes went from Khushi to Garima and back again…

"It's alright…It's just late…we need to get some sleep…maybe you would like to visit in a few days?"

Buaji's jaw dropped…"What!? Have him come over? I don't think that-"

"Yes. Please… It would be an honor."

Arnav's words were shocking everyone.

His utter devotion to Khushi and his extreme attitude was a living thing that needed to be recognized.

"Then we look forward to your company…" Garima glanced at Khushi…"Khushi? We shall look forward to seeing him?"

Her timid eyes slowly rose and locked onto his.

Everyone began to get up and say their goodbyes.

Arnav stayed close to Khushi until it was just them left at the door…

"Come to the  car when you have said goodnight, we will wait…"

Alone.

Again.

"Th…thankyou…for sending the car to pick us up and drive us home…"

Arnav was silent.

But his eyes wouldn’t shut up.

Her fingers fidgeted with her duputta…"Thankyou for a lovely dinner…"

Arnav took a step forwards.

"I…I guess…I will…will see you  in a few days…"

Closer…

"I can make jalebi…if you like…"

She continued to step back, as he prowled forwards…

"And…and maybe…"

But her sentence hushed…

Her back was against the wall and her husband a breath away…

"I am more in love with you than ever…"

Unknowingly, tears began to fall from her eyes…

Lifting his hands, he held her face, gently wiping away each trail…

"What I feel for you Khushi…" he shook his head…"it is unending…this past year has been harder than anything I've ever had to go through…I NEED you to realize just how devestated I am over what I put you through…"

She started to shiver, her emotions straining…"I can't…can't be back here again…"

Pressing his chest against hers, he spoke firmly…"You won't ever be back in that situation again…EVER…"

Her eyes widened as she recognized the power in his voice…

"I am telling you RIGHT NOW, that you will never have to face anything alone, you will never be a second thought, nothing will come before you, EVER again…"

Without warning, he slammed his mouth onto hers.

Overwrought with shock and fury, Khushi pushed him off and slapped him so fast he never saw it coming…"NO! NO I will not believe this!"

Bells were clanging in his skull as loudly as his heart had been thudding.

Muttering under his breath, he hurled her back against his body…

HOW CAN I BE FEELING ALL THIS AGAIN!?!

Khushi was already tired of crying…tired of remembering…

"I started out with so much control!"

"Neither of us have ever been in control when it comes to each other Khushi, I know I never have…"

Needing to get away before more tears could slip from her eyes, she begged, "Please…please just let me go…"

“Never…” It was a whisper, urgent and husky.

She tried once more to get away,  but he blocked her escape with his arm, her breath heaved still in her throat.

“W-what are you d-doing? Arnavji…please…” she stuttered.

"My heart is yours…and even though we have been apart this last year, you have been right here with me…in my mind, in my heart…"

His voice was strained.

“Damn it Khushi, I'm so in love with you I’m about to lose my mind.”

He stared at her hard, almost wild-eyed, and then with a mutter, he wrenched her close and kissed her so thoroughly, she had no time to make any protest.

Breaking away with a heartaching groan, he held her shoulders to the wall with a pained look in his eyes…

Taking her hand in his, he held it to his heart…"This heart…is yours…take it back…I'm begging you…”

“No…Nnnnoo…I can't…” she whispered, heart thudding…

She didn’t dare breathe while he studied her intently for several moments, a muscle twittering in his cheek as if a battle waged in his mind.

His chest expanded and released with a slow, weary breath…

"I love you…" and as soft as the summer breeze feathering her skin, he lowered his lips to hers, his touch so tender that it stole the breath in her lungs.

And for a moment, she allowed her heart to feel…

But soon, one painful heartbeat struck her chest…

Shaking her head, she cried…"No…NO I can't! I nearly died! I can't be back here!"

Turning as fast as she could she ran away from him…

"Khushi, Please!" His chase was desperate, but before he could catch her, she had climbed into the car…

Watching her carefully, he saw Garima spot him behind the gate…

She nodded knowingly and turned back to Khushi, putting an arm around her…

And they drove away…



………



Arnav couldn't move until the car was out of sight…

He paced back and forth…

Finally sitting down on the couch in his room

He didn't even realize he had walked back inside.

Had anyone spoken to him?

He had no clue.

"I shouldn't have  kissed her…" he grumbled and pulled at his hair…"YES! Yes I should have! She responded to me! She said my heart was still hers!"

Briskly standing back up, he walked outside to the pool…"Damn this!!!  This is my fault! This is that fucking woman's fault! My pride, my anger…"

He stopped and let out a loud scream…

Staring at the sky, his eyes hardened…"No."

His hands clenched into fists…"NO! I will NOT lose her. I can't take another year without her."



………




Khushi rushed from the car to her room…

"Khushi?"

She didn't want to answer.

Garima slowly walked in, "Talk to me…"

Tears threatened again…"No Amma…please…"

Sitting beside her, she gently touched Khushi's shoulder, "It's me…You can talk to me…you always have…"

Happy memoires began to fill her head…

Only to be stunted by pain…

She could feel Arnav's kiss on her lips…

Only to be blocked out by the image of him and Sheetal laughing…

No.

NO.

NO!!!!!
 
"Get out of my room!!"

Garima flinched back with shock…"Wh…what!?"

Khushi stood up fast, her hair flying over her face, "I said, GET OUT of my room! This is MY room! And I wish to be alone! Do you understand!?"

Buaji hurried in, "What are you doing!? How DARE you talk to your mother like that!"

Khushi's eyes turned a frightening color as she lost all familiarity with herself, "I will talk how I like! I will not have my heart and mind invaded anymore! Now LEAVE MY ROOM!"

Garima, who was starting to break down, quickly grabbed Buaji's arm and led her out…

They heard Khushi's door lock behind them…

Buaji hugged her sister tight at she began to shake…"I've never…never seen her like that…"

Garima tried to speak…"She is scared…I thought that she would allow love and happiness back in…but she's shutting off…"

"What do we do!?"

"Jiji, it's her minds way of protecting herself…"

Buaji scoffed, "This almost makes me WANT her horrid husband to come over and teach her a lesson."

Garima stepped back, nearly ready to slap Buaji.

"Don't you DARE say that about her. You KNOW what she has been through…Just because she isn't handling things the way I assumed, DOESN'T mean we belittle her. She was put through so much, and she is SCARED!"

"You are right…" her voice was shrouded with shame, "I was angry…"

"Exactly…just like Khushi is…"



………




Sleep.

It rarely came to him...

And when it did, it was filled to the brim with nightmares.

Family together.

Family destroyed.

Love found.

Love lost.

Arnav slept fitfully...

Until his dreams took a turn...

Arnav's heart began to shatter...

Perspiration broke out all over his body simultaniously with an ice cold chill...

"Hurry...Hurry to her...you may be too late..."

Arnav sat up, feeling sick with anxiety…

It had been two days since he had seen Khushi.

"I can't…I can't take it any longer…"

He stood up and stormed towards his car.

Driving aimlessly in the bleak night, all he heard was the haunting voice that filled his dreams…

"Hurry…Hurry to her!"

He pushed down harder on the accelerator...

"Hurry...Hurry..."

In sheer panic, his  foot slammed on the breaks.

Furiously, he threw his car door open and stormed out...

Khushi...

All other feeling ceased to exist.

11pm…

It's too late to be calling on her…

"HURRY HURRY!"

Debilitating pain began to cripple his heart…

"Why must I hurry! What is wrong! Why does my heart feel strange!"

Exiting his car, he hurried so fast to her front door that he looked like a drunken person...

Knocking firmly, he saw lights were still on…

Buaji soon answered and He instantly saw how tired she was.

No longer ASR, and no longer Arnav, he became the desperate child he once was..."Buaji...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry to be visiting this late, but..."

"Who is it Jiji?"

As soon as Garima saw who it was, she froze..."Arnavji...You are here?"

Arnav quickly tried to explain, "I apologize for how late I am calling, but I just…I felt that something was wrong…I need to see Khushi…"

Garima was shaking with emotion…

"Please go from here..." Buaji said quietly...

Arnav's clouded eyes darted from Buaji to Garima..."Please..." his voice was rasping..."please, I need to see Khushi..." he grabbed Garima's hands…"I don't know why, but I feel that there is something wrong…is she okay?"

Garima broke away from Arnav and collapsed onto a chair weeping...

Arnav stood and tried to comfort her when Buaji intervened..."NO...leave her...please leave here..."

He knew what was left of his soul would die if he left without seeing his wife..."What is wrong? Is Khushi alright?...Buaji, I'm begging you, talk to me please..."

"She's not here."

Arnav's eyes shot over to Garima.

Pure dread filled his heart, "...Wh...What? Where..."

"Her body is here...but Khushi, my Khushi, the Khushi I know...she is not here anymore..."

"What? What do you mean?"

Buaji slumped into a chair next to Garima..."I have never seen someone so full of hate, so full of disrespect, so full of emptiness. She hates me, Garima, she even shuns her babuji. She is rude to the neighbours, to her friends...and...and feels nothing for anyone..."

"No..." Arnav shook his head..."She's hurt...I've...I've hurt her...that's what...I need to, I need to make it up to..."

"The night we arrived home, she changed…she is so scared that she is hiding her true self…she cried until she passed out, she collapsed to the floor and just faded away..."

Arnav clenched his eyes shut, not wishing to picture the love of his life in that condition…"Why…why didn't you call me! I could have done something! I could have helped!"

"We thought she was in shock…we thought she just needed time to think…but the very next morning..." Garima continued..."a completely different person woke up..."

"No...No...I don't believe..."

"What is all this noise! Can't you call Shut Up!"

All eyes turned towards the new voice that filled the room...

"When you're all done playing yelling like idiots, let me rest!"

Arnav was horrified.

"Khushi..." he whispered..."Why are you talking like...

Pacing slowly towards him, Khushi pointed a finger at his chest..."Don't you DARE talk to me! I hate your very existance! So how to you think I feel about the SIGHT of you!"

"Khushi! Please...He has come here to..."

"Buaji! Enough! I'm not interested in why he has come, or WHO he even is!"

Arnav could hardly breathe…"I'm  your husband..."

At that Khushi began to laugh...

Laugh so hard that she thought she'd get a cramp in her side...

"You?" she tried to control her voice..."YOU? My husband? I think NOT...Now PLEASE keep it down!"

She turned to leave but Arnav caught her arm..."Khushi, I'm here to see you…I have missed you..."

Yanking her arm free, she turned to face him..."Missed me? Me? I mean nothing to you!"

"What?! WHAT!?"

Arnav was losing all hope.."Hurry...Hurry..."

"Khushi what has happened? Only two nights ago you said my heart was yours!? You said I still had YOUR heart!? What has happened!?"

Standing tall, not a single tear forming in her eyes, Khushi looked straight at him..."You had me. But you will NEVER have me again. Goodnight."

She turned and disappeared into her room...

Arnav shook his head..."No…No this can't be happening…"

"She has been like this for days….We know it's her mind's way of coping with her fear..."

"Fear? I won't let anything harm her! I...I need her...I was...I was wrong...I..."

Buaji took Arnav's hand..."You have to leave..."

As he was led out, Arnav pleaded again and again to come back to see her...

But all he saw were two grief stricken faces, closing the door to his life.




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